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Joke of the Day

"What did the bird say after its cage fell apart? Cheap cheap!"

"Why do java coders wear glasses? Because they don't C#"

"I always tell my kids to stay in school... but they keep fucking coming back."

"I'm not a shout it from the rooftops kind of person, but I'll write it on a post-it and leave it lying around for people to see."

"The NSA The only part of the government that actually listens"

"What's an emo's favorite game? Russian roulette, except with a full chamber."

"Stupid people are like glow sticks. I want to snap them and shake the shit out of them until the light comes on."

"What changed to make The Fantastic Four the Fantastic Three? Nothing."

"*writes ""with my squad"" under a picture of me and several cats"""

"""Y'know, she was actually pretty convincing."" - Me walking out of a movie where Meryl Streep plays a Chinese UFC fighter"