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Joke of the Day

"ISIS new way of recruitment ISIS leader posted a job offer for new workers : "" Need somebody with a head on his shoulders """

"Son: Mom! What's a gf? Mom: if you're a good boy, you'll get one when you're older. Son: What is I'm not a good boy? Mom: You'll get many."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school? He woke up."

"I will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia."

"please pray for my sons Thursten and Gorse who have just glued themselves to a curtain,"

"If you can't handle me at my drunkest, you don't deserve me when I'm sober."

"A friend of mine told me she worked as a prostitue for a while... I asked her if she'd ever been picked up by the fuzz. She hadn't, but she said she'd once been swung round by the tits."

"Have you heard of the band 1023 MB? Have you? No? Probably because they don't have any GIGS!"

"Apparently, changing your profile to ""Flirty, dirty and a little squirty"" gets you kicked out of Christian Mingle."

"Do you guys remember the joke about Jonestown... Me neither but I heard the punch line killed em'"