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Joke of the Day

"I like my women how I like my wine... ten years old and in my basement."

"My friend just told me this joke: ""Knock knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""Chicken"" ""Chicken who?"" ""TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!"""

"Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas ? Because they both have ""Sandy claws"" !"

"Why is women's soccer so rare? It's quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit."

"How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A buck an ear (buccaneer)."

"I love Honest Abe. Do you want to hear my favourite quote from him? ""My head hurts."""

"What did the body-building priest say after he was caught eating all the communion? I was putting on Mass."

"THERAPIST: what's the problem? WIFE: he replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise"

"Today marks 365 days of sobriety. 364 more to go"

"Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants."