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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new nightclub that opened called ""Erectile Dysfunction""? No? I'm not surprised; it was a complete flop. Nobody came."

"I woke up with just my arm in hospital Hospital is a weird name for a dog"

"What do you call a Phillipino contortions? A manilla folder"

"real men.. [twitches uncontrollably] don't hi- [""real man"" skin suit falls off revealing fake man who was the one doing bad stuff all along]"

"I burned 1000 calories by lighting my arm on fire"

"If I had a dollar for every time Hillary played the Woman Card ...I'd have $0.77 cents."

"A buddhist monk is watching TV Another monks come in and says, ""What are you watching?"" The monk replies, ""Nothing."""

"Frogs always look like they just found out there's no free Wi-Fi."

"When David shot Goliath, there was a giant thunderstorm. He was just slinging in the rain."

"How many men does it take to open a beer? None, the beer should be open by the time she has brought it to you."