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Joke of the Day

"I regret every fart I ever held in for you."

"Do you know why scuba divers roll backwards off boats? Because if they rolled forward they would just go into the boat"

"I dreamed that I discovered a new color, but it was just a pigment of my imagination. Original joke, yay!"

"*stands on scanner at self checkout, weighing self after keying in mango code, just to see what net worth is in mangoes"

"Why did the vampire miss work? He was having a coffin fit!"

"Buses are like pornstars... Nothing for an hour then they all cum at once."

"If I had to be in the military I'd probably pick sleeper cell agent cause I get tired a lot"

"BREAKING: North Dakota lawmakers decide life begins at conception, and then begins again the moment you're old enough to leave North Dakota"

"""Why is there music coming out of your printer?"" ""That will be the paper jamming again!"""

"Hey commercials, thanks anyway but we're poor."