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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to tell you a pizza joke actually never mind it's too cheesy."

"At what stage of evolution did Robots become as advanced as humans? When opposable thumb drives were developed"

"As an ornothologist and a pimp I structure payment based on the old saying: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

"When a neutron hits a uranium atom... Potassium. Oxide."

"Headed to the gym. Gonna work on my diptroids. My gluteralids. My quadrapeps. Maybe my trapaceptals. Definitely my vocabulary."

"Why did the lemon turn green? Because he had lime disease"

"I used to be addicted to soap... It's okay I'm clean now."

"Birds are dinosaurs? No. I want dinosaurs here or I want them completely gone. I don't need a bullshit imitation dinosaur to shit on my car."

"What do women and dog-poop have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up."

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkings after a house fire."