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Joke of the Day

"A man walks in to a library and asks for a book on Tourette's. The librarian says, ""Fcuk off, you cunt."" The man says, ""Yep, that's the one."""

"What did the Muslim train conductor say to the passengers as they were getting on? Allah-board"

"Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant? Right before the tanks were full he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car."

"Happy Valentine's Day!! If you don't have that perfect someone in your life, you are worthless. Die."

"Went to Whole Foods today, because we needed $157 worth of pesto and breads that will be stale in an hour."

"Scientists Have Isolated a Single Unit of Potato and Taught it to Use 4chan They've named the project Channing Tatum."

"Do you ever get shampoo in your eyes and wonder what the name of your guide dog will be?"

"What do you call Moby Dick when he washes up on a sandbar? A bleached whale!"

"I hit a can of bug spray with a hammer and my dad walked in the room. He caught me beating Off"

"I saw Casper the ghost. I said, You look pale and drawn."