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Joke of the Day
"OMG!! Ellen Degeneras drowned last night! They found her face down in Rikki Lake!"
Next Joke
"My girlfriend told me she wanted a ring. So I said ""Bitch, take your phone off silent!"""
"Why was the programer killed by a snake? He underestimated the speed of the python."
"Two fish in a tank One turns to the other and says ""how do you drive this thing?"" Repost from a comment on /r/askreddit"
"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick in your sister's ass."
"What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use? Uniball."
"What does a cue ball and a mexican have in common? The harder you hit them, the more english you get out out of them."
"Cheap 1st Date Ideas: Get some matching Red Polo shirts & hang out in a Target. Give terrible info to inquisitive costumers."
"I have a dead budgie for sale You may want it, but it's not going cheap."
"What do you call a running gag on crutches? A lame joke."