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Joke of the Day

"I've got a friend whose nickname is ""Shagger"". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it"

"What do you call someone with down syndrome who is very depressed? Down"

"Math is so communist... ...There's class struggle for Marx"

"""Money isn't everything,"" I say, poorly."

"LOIS LANE: *pulls back from kissing* clark your glasses are hurting my nose can you take them off CLARK KENT: no"

"Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me."

"I just gave my cat a bath. Your move Satan."

"Every fight is a food fight.... .... when you're a cannibal."

"My wife CLAIMS to be my best friend but she didn't seemed all that psyched when I bragged about this girl at work I just made out with."

"""Do you ever get the feeling Mitch is an undercover cop?"" [MITCH enters] MITCH: Hey guys! *speaking into shirt collar* I brought the drugs"