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Joke of the Day

"To the rooster goes the spoils.. indeed"

"It's a real shame Friday doesn't come as quick as I do"

"I have the body of a God... ...unfortunately it's Buddha."

"Just found an inch-long hair growing from my earlobe. Does this mean I can finally join the X-Men?"

"I got a hand job yesterday I'm now officially a sign language interpreter"

"When I was a little boy, my dad taught me that any little boy or girl, even me, could grow up and become President someday... I'm starting to believe him."

"What do you call an aardvark that's good at golf? A paredvark!"

"Don't buy a belt at the zoo, it's just a snake trying to escape."

"I'd have liked to have ridden a llama into 2011. Shit gets serious when you see someone galloping down the street on llama sipping Tequila."

"What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brown? Artificial intelligence."