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Joke of the Day

"Feeling sad because my hamster died... Well he's not 'technically' dead yet, but I ran out of food so it's really just a matter of days."

"1) get drunk. 2) have sex. 3) leave taco bell. DONT TELL ME HOW TO PARTY!"

"I want to die like my grandfather . ..peaceful . . . ready to go. Not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car"

"Start here. Now go to that side. Back to this side. that side again. now this side ok that side this side 1 more time now front (bed making)"

"Audrey Hepburn probably has my favorite last name that combines an STD and a symptom of an STD"

"I just learned that embalmers insert butt plugs into corpses to prevent leakage.... So now I know why zombies walk like they do."

"G.O.T. joke: ""What's better than a Grape, Robb?"" ""A Raisin, Bran."

"How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? You pay for the pizza."

"INTERVIEWER: Why did you leave your previous job? ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay."

"What's the best things about Anti-Jokes? They have a large following!"