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Joke of the Day
"To the guy in a wheelchair that stole my phone You can hide but you can't run"
Next Joke
"Patient: Doc what should I do with all the gold and silver in my mouth? Dentist: Don't smile in a bad neighborhood."
"""It's all coming back to me!"" As I piss in the wind."
"*job interview* Boss: Give an example of when you've done something creative Me: When I listed my 'experience' on the application form"
"What is the heaviest surgical intervetion that can be done to women ? Getting money and dicks out of their minds."
"""What would be your main strength?"" Well, I can communicate with animals... ""Wow, impressive. Any weaknesses?"" They can't understand me."
"I was asked who my favourite X-men was the other day... Apparently Caitlyn Jenner was inappropriate."
"Umlaut is a pretty fancy word for what are basically just letter nipples."
"I have an L shaped couch... lower case."
"So I the ceo of apple came out as gay I guess their iphones really are bent"