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Joke of the Day

"Your wife is knocking at the back door to come inside and your dog is barking at the front. Which one do you let in the house first? The dog, because when the dog gets in the house it stops bitching."

Next Joke
 
"I'll never forget my grandpa's final words, ""stop shaking the ladder you cunt."""
"/r/Jokes was starting to get flooded by good original jokes ... Edit: I know the mods hate the punchline in the title, my bad"
"Michael Jackson to be recycled"
"Why are ugly guys better with computers then women? Turning off a computer often fixes the problem."
"How awesome would it be to come home & find Bruce Springsteen sitting on your toilet?"
"Be careful in traffic with your pasta car... You wouldn't want it to get al dente."
"I took a Scottish girl to the countryside. ""Hello view!"" she said, looking out the window of our rented house. I said, ""I love you too..."""
"gotta ove Valentines Day roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not a good poet, ...you're hot."
"What happens to communists who are late to class? The get marxed tardy."