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Joke of the Day

"What do you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns? Go for the juggler."

"A month before my grandfather died we decided to cover his back in lard. After that he went downhill very quickly."

"Luke Skywalker and Yoda are on a ride when... **Luke**: *Are we on the right course, Master Yoda?*. **Yoda**: *Off course we are*."

"Do you have cotton balls? ""Yes"" ""Do they tickle when you walk?"""

"How can we be sure the government wasn't involved in the Kennedy assassination? Well he's dead, isn't he? (Adapted from Neil Gaiman's *American Gods*)"

"Today a girl kissed me I wish I could post it in another subreddit Edit: Thanks for gold :D"

"What did the allergic say after getting stung by a bee? ""Life's a bee-itch and then you die."""

"My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, ""your daughter"" wasn't the right answer."

"Dang girl are you a CS map? Cause you're looking DE_licious tonight."

"Morpheus: If you take the red pill, I will show you what the Matrix is. Neo: *ingests pill* Whoa. Morpheus: It's also a powerful laxative."