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Joke of the Day

"Ireland's population is out of control It keeps Dublin and Dublin"

"Did you hear about the author who wrote a book during her time of the month? It was a period piece."

"ME: I play for the Philadelphia Eagles. HER: What position do u play? ME: I'm a *thinks back to the only game I watched* wide-retriever."

"/r/creepy I mean seriously, one was just an open door."

"Sneaky? Dude, I got two handfuls of soup into a movie theater once."

"The fridge is a clear example that what really matters is what is inside."

"I once dated a girl with a wandering eye... ...but she was seeing somebody on the side."

"Jetsons? Hardly. The future turns out to be playing Scrabble from the toilet at work with someone halfway around the world."

"Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell into a ditch She screamed until she was blue in the hand."

"[Date Night] I poured us a bubble bath. Him: *sigh* is it Sprite again? *sipping seductively from tub with a krazy straw*: Just get in."