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Joke of the Day

"What do women and turds have in common? The older they are, the easier they are to pick up."

"I don't know about you guys, but I think Jesus would definitely have had a hard time paying for my sins on a carpenters salary."

"Shout out to the people who don't know what the opposite of ""in"" is."

"A girl recognised me This girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore."

"What should you do if you're being attacked by a gang of clowns? Go for the juggler!"

"When choosing a heart medicine, always pick the one that causes, ""significantly less bleeding."" Less bleeding is good for not being dead."

"Why do they call it multiple personality disorder and not being a people-person?"

"I sometimes go to my own little world, but that's okay, they know me there."

"I want to reenact a scene from 50 Shades of Gray.... Y'know the one where she gets a job right out of college."

"Why is British weather muslim? Because when it isn't sunni, it's utter shiite"