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Joke of the Day

"Can we stop acting like ""seasonal"" beers makes sense at all?"

"Why does a chicken coupe only have two doors? If it had four it'd be a chicken sedan!"

"1. Dial random number. 2. Wait for answering machine. 3. Say ""My wife is out of town, I miss you"". 4. Hang up. 5. Happy Valentine's Day."

"I love pressing buttons, so as you could imagine this makes it really difficult for me to be around nipples."

"What do Fort McMurray and a 1998 Pontiac Sunfire have in common? Both are full of white trash and smell like burning oil."

"A man comes home from work and says to his wife, ""Honey, I'm thinking about ordering a strap-on dildo from Amazon..."" ""What do you think? Is that something you could get behind?"""

"Did you hear about the woman who only had two chances to get pregnant? She blew them both."

"I love, love, love when sports fans are homophobic. ""I don't want any gay people around while I'm staring at men for hours"""

"How do Alaska CB radio operators say ""10-4""? ""5-5-2-2."""

"Why don't blind people go skydiving? Because it scares the shit out of the dog."