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Joke of the Day

"Tifu by having sex with my friend's dumb bitch I guess bestiality isn't common where hes from."

"To err is human... To not know what err means is American."

"What did the hipster say... ...when he was told to get off the couch? ""Nah-imma-stay"""

"I like my women like I like my wine 12 years old and locked in the basement Edit:I like most things without dicks aswell"

"The U.S. is scheduled to play Germany soon at the World Cup. President Obama and German Chancellor Angela Merkel already have a bet going. The loser keeps Hasselhoff."

"You know it's weird you add 'French' to anything and it makes it better: 'French cuisine', 'French toast', 'French kiss'... The only exception is 'people.'"

"First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year."

"Go to Starbucks. Tell them your name is Dad. Hide in the crowd. Listen as the hipster barista says ""Dad?..Dad?..DAD?..DAD?!"" & starts crying"

"When someone has Taken your car who should you call? Liam Nissan"

"What did Hitler's Personal Trainer keep reminding him to do? ""EXHEIL"""