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Joke of the Day

"Go to Starbucks. Tell them your name is Dad. Hide in the crowd. Listen as the hipster barista says ""Dad?..Dad?..DAD?..DAD?!"" & starts crying"

"How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? A buccaneer!"

"he doesnt always use the internet, but when he does, he shares recipes & inspiratiomal quotes. he is..the most pinteresting man in the world"

"My wife didn't finish her Morse code lessons before going sailing. She seems to alright though she keeps sending me messages to send her an SMS but I haven't got a reply yet."

"ESA to release second probe ""SHIO"" to 67P The ""Philae-Shio"" team will be sucking in 67P's particles and spitting out information to be sent back to ESA for examination."

"""Once we come down off this wall we'll be on the lam. That means we're fugitives, laying low, on the run..."" - condescending con descending"

"Common dialogue in SITCOMs When a guy proposes, the female responds ""thank you""... Seen this in Friends, two and half men and the big bang theory... If its there in HIMYM.. PLS LET ME KNOW..."

"Good for you when one door closes & another door opens. For the rest of us that usually means we're in jail."

"""Your place or mine?"" ""But, sir, I just met you. What makes you think I would be interested?"" ""Lady, let's be honest - why else would a 35-year-old woman be at carburettor exhibition?"""

"Compare to what Luke and Anakin had lost, Leia is considered lucky At least she still has the D"