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Joke of the Day

"I'd write a book on parenting but it'd probably just end up being full of cocktail recipes."

"How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun!"

"What does a physics cow say? "

"What happened when the lepers played poker? One guy threw down his hand and another laughed his head off. This was my best friend's favorite joke when she was little apparently."

"Taking my dog for a walk Taking my quadriplegic dog for a walk is a real drag."

"A barber applied for a scholarship at the barber's academy He didn't make the cut"

"One day a wife complained.. ""This wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."" The husband grunted and replied, ""The darn clock always was slow."""

"Today I was reversing my car off the drive... ... and I thought ""Ahh, this takes me back."""

"If you want to feel the bern Have unprotected sex."

"video games allow you to journey to wondrous locations straight out of your dreams such as: warehouse, sewer, and subway tunnel"