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Joke of the Day
"If you want to feel the bern Have unprotected sex."
Next Joke
"damn girl are you a mouse because your body is decomposing in my drywall"
"Impotence: Nature's way of saying, ""No hard feelings"""
"My inflatable girlfriend always looks surprised when I walk into the room."
"Parents: ""Why don't you come socialize with the family?"" Me: *sits with family* *gets insulted by entire family* *goes back to bedroom*"
"What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings."
"Dance like the picture's not being tagged. Love like you've never been unfriended. Tweet like no one's following."
"LOST DOG: 4 year old border collie. Still living at home but doesn't know what to do with his life."
"I never know how much to tip a cow."
"What did the counselor say to the hologram? ""You're projecting."" (From Star Trek Voyager)"