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Joke of the Day

"Monk at the Dentist Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication."

"Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding ? They got jellygated !"

"What do you call a really cranky shaman with bad breath and osteoporosis? A Super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis"

"Psychic wanted: You know where to apply."

"Alarm clocks should come with sounds like ""doll feet running into the closet"" Because I AM NOT HITTING SNOOZE WHEN I HEAR THAT SHIT"

"When I die..... I want to go in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not terrified and screaming like everyone else in his car."

"Shout out to girls that have a relationship with prisoners. At least they always know where their man is at."

"can't wait till the robots turn on us as currently my only regret is that I am statistically most likely to be killed by a human"

"If someone on the Windows team at Microsoft gets fired... would you say they've been defenestrated?"

"What is the difference between a boy scout and a Jew ? A boy scout returns back from camp."