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Joke of the Day

"I caught a lot lizard the other day.... Keeping it in a cage with hot rocks till i figure out what to feed it..."

"New 50 Cent Song Did you hear about 50 Cent's clever new song about the small, detail-oriented urban cat? They're calling it ""Fiddy's witty itty bitty nitty gritty city kitty ditty""."

"A lot of people tend to say life is like a rollercoaster. It is! Specifically the Smiler in Alton Towers. You start out with nervous excitement and by the end of it you need new knees."

"Frozen (2013): A girl with magical powers causes adults to talk nonstop about a movie for children"

"Finished christmas shopping for my entire family. *walks out of pharmacy*"

"What is the difference between a 14 year old boy in the U.S. and one in Mexico? A 14 year old boy in the U.S. is a freshman and one in Mexico is a senor"

"""Operator, run this licence plate please Echo Alpha Tango Alpha Delta India Charlie Kilo"" - Me, if I was a cop on the day I got fired."

"How do you make a dog smile? Suck its dick."

"The internet is amazing in its ability to speed up communication, for instance it used to take years to realize you hated your friends."

"Why did the semen cross the road? Why did the seman cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks today.."