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Joke of the Day

"Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders... * How I learned this rule is not important."

"When do clocks die?When their time is up."

"currently texting 'Happy Father's Day' to all the men in my phone to freak them out"

"What does the US military and a fart have in common? Air Force"

"Women shouldn't work outside the home. It's STEVE Jobs, not EVE Jobs."

"I want to China town today I saw a lot of wangs."

"I like to play music loud It's kind of my forte."

"Bruce Willis reaches for his iPhone but accidentally grabs his iPad and screams because he thinks he's shrunk"

"What an age we live in... ... when a family of billionaires moves into government subsidized housing previously occupied by black people."

"What's the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of bowling balls? There's only one you can unload with a pitchfork. Edit: Who said something about dead babies?"