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Joke of the Day

"I don't always tell Dad jokes... But I've been saving the best ones for twenty years, and we're going have such a laugh when he comes back with those smokes!"

"What's the difference between a golf ball and a G spot? A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball."

"Wife: I lost my day planner. Me: Not in your briefcase? W: No. I looked EVERYWHERE. M: Well it looks like you've got a hidden agenda W:"

"Stellar hiring process HR. The new lady broke into song when being introduced to me. I give it 2 days before her first cat-related meltdown."

"What did the floor say to the desk? I can see your drawers!"

"It must suck when a billionaire... Wakes up feeling like a million bucks."

"I used to have a job crushing cans. It was soda pressing."

"Why do bald-headed men never use keys? Because they've lost their locks."

"A religious family member literally said ""Spongebob goes too far sometimes"" and I can not stop laughing."

"I eat the first half of a burrito to get full, I eat the second half to teach myself a lesson"