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Joke of the Day

"Donald trump, Hillary and Black hole, what do they all have in common? They all Suck"

"What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? Its pasture bedtime"

"When Jedi characters get divorced Do they call it deforced?"

"Dickens: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times Schrodinger: Nice, nice"

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it into the microwave until its Bill Withers."

"I have a bad feeling I'll be wearing one of those barrels with suspenders by the end of the year, but not in a fun, whimsical way."

"I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, you're probably one of them."

"I went to a large bookstore ... ... and asked the lady at the counter, where the self-help section was. She said if she would tell me, it would defeat the very purpose of it."

"Green smoothies because who has the time or energy to chew 17 cups of spinach/lettuce/kale"

"I've made the front page 5 times! The girls on /r/creepyPMs are really mean and don't understand the P means Private."