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Joke of the Day

"A blowjob makes your day, but anal makes your hole weak."

"How can you tell a pirate is being raped? You hear him screaming ""Quit plunderin' my booty!"""

"Why is heaven a paradise for the common man? Because all the politicians are in hell."

"I pulled a muscle masturbating... I know, I know; you're not supposed to put the punchline in the title."

"So drunk that if Dracula bit my neck right now, he'd get a Bloody Mary."

"This Venn guy was sure bad at drawing circles next to each other"

"So earlier I held the door for an Asian guy... He said ""Sank you"" ...so I punched him. I couldn't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that."

"Why did the baby kangaroo not want to grow up? It was a wannabe wallaby!"

"A taxidermist was asked, ""So what do you do for a living?"" She replied, ""Oh you know... stuff."" - *From Tumblr.*"

"The lady at the bakery who draws her eyebrows on is looking extra surprised today"