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Joke of the Day

"How does it feel to be out of coffee? Depresso."

"""Yeah can I have a triple bacon cheeseburger..."" *sees Grim Reaper in passenger seat* *sigh* ""and can you put lettuce and tomato on that?"""

"Why can't Kim Kardashian find her asshole? He's on tour."

"Q: What do you call four matadors in quicksand? A: Quatro sinko."

"I know a cannibal who only eats women's genitalia. Sometimes I go over to their house for a clambake."

"Jesus' crucifixion was a success... They totally nailed it!"

"pregnancy tests should just read ""pregnant"" or ""nope just fat"""

"My grandfather got his tongue shot off during WWII He never talked about it."

"My bologna has a first name... ... it's m-o-o-n."

"Drug test Employer- we need to take your drug test to see if there are any drugs in your urine Employee- I'll pass, you won't check my nose right?"