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Joke of the Day

"How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None; they all stand around complementing it then get mad when it wont screw. Heard from my friend"

"What's the difference between a new wife and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you."

"What do you call 3 knights in a relationship? Polyarmory"

"""You're a ten?"" ""On the PH scale, Cuz you basic."""

"My girlfriend just dumped me for talking too much about video games (alternate) But my preferred style in bed is up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start."

"When I die I really hope that as a ghost I can travel and not be stuck in one place. I have people to scare and some I want to see naked."

"What do a creationist and a dude with a dinosaur bone fetish have in common? They both get a hard on when they find a gap in the fossil record."

"What song does a dwarf pimp sing? high ho's, high ho's, it's off to work I go"

"What do you call a pickle sandwich that's a scientist? Dill Rye"

"I waited a long time for my testicles to descend When one finally did I had an inaugural ball"