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Joke of the Day

"TIFU: My wife told me she wants to get a tattoo on her lower back. I told her to get one of a beautiful young woman so I'd have something to fantasize about."

"My bowel is upset. Must be full of shit."

"I once shot a deer in my pajamas... How it got in my pajamas, I will never know."

"I think the reason old people sleep in separate bedrooms is so they don't have to wake up next to someone dead."

"what do people call bob the builder when he's not building anything? bob"

"Well this is awkward. Apparently when my wife's friend invited me over for a play-date I was supposed to bring my kids."

"DOCTOR: I'm afraid I've got bad news ME: *pulls an apple from pocket* DOCTOR: *sweating* GOOD NEWS, I MEANT GOOD NEWS"

"So batman's son got into the rap industry .. They call him Lil' Wayne"

"1000 shrinks donate hair samples to create genetically optimized SuperShrink for Donald Trump He he..."

"What did the doctor say to the prosecutor? You're trying my patients!"