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Joke of the Day

"Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet? They never want to log off."

"So a duck walks into a bar... He waddles over to a seat and settles in. The bartender says ""Hey there, what can I get for you?"" And the duck says ""I... I don't know. I've never made it this far."""

"Sexually active I was sexually active at 12....its now 12.14am and my hand is fuckin killing me."

"Why can the Cornish always lend a hand? They probably have a spare."

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder w cheese ;^]"

"Recycling Adult Toys ""One man's trash is another man's pleasure!"""

"Women, you can't live with 'em... And you can't cut their heads off and gang-rape their corpses. Not alone at least. Get your buddies to help."

"I don't want to alarm anyone but I've purchased a ukulele. Soon as I can jam, there'll be auditions for my band behind the 7-11. NO WEIRDOS"

"Did you hear about the man who was using apples and oranges for flooring? He started to lay them down when he realized it was fruit-tile."

"I'm not saying the character Merida was modeled after me, but I too would rather win an archery contest than be married."