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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: You can't tell kids they're grounded anymore ME: Why not? W: They weren't our kids M: You did see how badly they packed our groceries?"

"When I move, I don't pack my belongings. Because I live my life outside of the box."

"A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" The Screwdriver responds, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"Why was the snowman smiling? He heard the snow blower coming"

"Why do old Jews watch pornos backwards? They like to see the hookers give the money back''''"

"The guys who measure out the granite so it fits nicely in your kitchen were prob mad when they found out the term counterfeiters was taken"

"Did you hear about the skeleton that couldn't go to the party? He had no body to go with."

"Tibet and Tiwan REJOICE! Oh, nevermind. Wrong Chyna."

"Why were there only 1000 people at the Million Mexican March? They only had 2 trucks."

"Did you here about the French Alps pizza service? Apparently they deliver large plane's"