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Joke of the Day
"Why did the teacher cross her eyes? Because she couldn't control her pupils."
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"What do the iPhone 5 and Viagra have in common? They're both $700 for an extra inch!"
"What does having sex in a boat and light beer have in common? They're both fucking close to water"
"What do you call two doctors with the same career? Pair of medics."
"What do you call... What do you call it when a person in a wheelchair tries to get through a non-automatic door? A tard time"
"When I lose a follower, I like to pretend they were Taken, then I go to Europe and shoot absolutely everyone."
"You are going to lose your license to be a doctor Doctor 1: You are going to lose your Doctoring License Doctor 2: Everyone has slept with their patients one time or another Doctor 1: You're a vet"
"Are you a psychic porn star? Because you're blowing my mind"
"You have to kiss a lot of short, black, flamboyant musicians before you can find your Prince."
"I was just eating cashews and one of them fell into my bra. Is it still a cashew or is it a chestnut now?"