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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a singing bird and a bad prostitute? One's a happy crow."
Next Joke
"I used to steal jokes I still do, but I used to too"
"Q: What is the definition of an optimist? A: An accordion player with a pager."
"Saw an ad for a mirror. It said ""Never used"". How, then, did they know it was a mirror?"
"Regretting the compliment... A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, ""Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"" He says, ""Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"""
"What do you call a Chinese baby in the oven? a 2nd born."
"I told my wife she shops too much, but she wouldn't listen. She's so damn clothes-minded"
"IHTGYATSWTFIM = I had to Google your acronym to see what the fuck it meant."
"the average goat is 9 carrots tall if you measure goats in carrots"
"Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up."