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Joke of the Day
"Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing"
Next Joke
"Q: What do you call a blonde that can suck a golfball through a water hose? A:Sweetheart!"
"My friend and I were talking yesterday and he asked me if I sometimes randomly recited the English vowels. I replied, ""Sometimes, why?""."
"How many magazines did the racquetball footwear company make before going out of business? Tennis shoes (Also: can anyone think of a more succinct buildup? It seems kinda unwieldy to me)"
"Did you know scientists just announced diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your genes"
"What disorder will Spiderman get as he ages? Peter Parkinsons"
"Before taking viagra, ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. Riiight."
"has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life"
"Fun thing to say to your neighbors on the first meeting: I love the way your hair smells when you're sleeping."
"A blonde's house is on fire. She runs outside and yells ""Help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!"" Someone else yells ""Call 911!"" The blonde yells back ""What's the number?"""