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Joke of the Day

"If homosexuals come out of the closet, do necrophiliacs come out of the casket?"

"Why couldn't the whistle blower make it home for the holidays? he was snowden"

"Drinks at the bar should be served in capri sun-like pouches, and if you can't get the straw in, you are cut off."

"How do you listen to Taylor Swift and N.W.A one after the other? Make a mixed tape."

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car next to an abortion clinic? Having to go in to ask for a coat hangar."

"I don't get how people say Mickey Rourke looks bad for his age... ...don't they realise his first film role was in 1941?!"

"The view of your Bedroom is perfect from this tree!"

"I saw my friend's girl sleeping with another man in the army but didn't tell him... It was a private affair."

"What do you call an experienced Nazi doctor who treats animals? A veteran Aryan"

"Why don't the dutch have a space program? Their spaceships Netherland."