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Joke of the Day

"I shot a turkey for the first time today... Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen foods section."

"Fun prank: brand your boss with the mark of the beast so he becomes a mindless demon slave wandering the earth killing in the name of Satan"

"Jesus is all like eat my body, drink my blood and I'm all like dude, I only like you as a friend."

"A guy I work with farted on the elevator... It was wrong on so many levels."

"Why is Unidan's current account called UnidanX? It's his tenth alt account."

"What do you call a body in a morgue which hasn't been viewed by anyone yet? Remains to be seen."

"I love picking out my wife's panties except this isn't my house and now some dudes are yelling for me to come downstairs with my hands up"

"THERE IS A VIRUS GOING AROUND REDDIT W THE LINK ""CO-EDS.AVI"" THAT MAKES YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS I DIDNT CLICK ON IT BC I DONT WATCH PORN BUT BE ON THE LOOK OUT.."

"She asked if I thought she was a 10... ...I told her she's more like a 14, cause she's the most basic bitch I've ever met."

"How many philosophers does it take to screw in a light bulb? It depends on the definition of lightbulb."