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Joke of the Day

"How do you teach your dog to roll over ? Put him on fire."

"Tit for tat My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, ""Well Shona? Do you think you'll be next?"" We settled this quickly once I started doing the same to them at funerals."

"I Can't Believe I Don't Get More Recognition For Being Really Modest"

"Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!"

"Why does the boy could not bend his knees? because he had no knees"

"Why don't they let Italians swim in Long Island Sound? If you know that one, try this one: Why do seagulls fly to the dump?"

"They just arrested my favorite shoe salesman thinking he was a drug lord. They said all the shoes were laced and everyone was trippin."

"Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine."

"How do you make any woman wet? Liquor"

"I got lost in a corn field. It was quite a maize."