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Joke of the Day

"""millennials sure do love APPS!!"" i can edit a movie on my phone. you used to harass women for recreation. go back to watching suits grandpa"

"Ordered my grilled cheese with tomato. Go hard or go home."

"""Bones?"" I said. ""Is that you?"" ""In the flesh"", it replied."

"A three legged dog walks into a bar... He pulls out a gun and says, "" I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!"" "

"Auto-correct turned ""likeable"" into ""lickable"" and the new intern is confused by her evaluation."

"Did you hear about the fire at the flame retardant textile manufacturer? Someone left the irony on..."

"Nice that after 17 years of marriage I can still have a sex dream about my wife. Last night the role of my wife was played by Jessica Alba."

"If somebody's presence does not add value to your life..Then their absence should make no difference!"

"Yo mamma so bald... you can see what is on her mind."

"Whats the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in your ass."