10324

Joke of the Day

"Why can nobody understand sausages when they talk??? Because they speak in tongs. I'll show myself the door"

"Why did the clock phone the ruler? Because desperate times call for desperate measures...."

"What do xbox services and prostitutes have in common? They both take my money then go down on me"

"What did the patriarchy serve at their dinner party? Traditional gender rolls."

"Couldn't get to the gym and gained a bit of belly fat this semester... I just had too much on my plate."

"I want to go see the new Purge movie... But I have to binge on the first two..."

"If you're a copyright attorney and your slogan isn't ""Carpe TM,"" go fuck yourself."

"My fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that I lied about on my drivers license."

"When is a rabbi dishonest? July"

"Who wants to go to Florida with me? I heard the clubs are to die for."