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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a dead baby float? Root Beer and 2 scoops of ice cream!"

"In germany there are lots of jokes about the polish, so... What did Piotr get for christmas? ... Your iPod!"

"I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging. Took me ages to get her husband's voice right."

"They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now."

"I don't understand Facebook. If I wanted to convince complete strangers that my life was better than theirs I'd become a rapper."

"In politics we call it left-wing and right-wing because we are all a part of the same bird. And we are all being told what to do by bird brains."

"A successful relationship is one in which one person shuts up when the other is right."

"Is it okay to use everyday objects for anal stimulation? I'm sitting on the fence."

"How do you weigh a hipster? In Instragramm"

"Why did the Dick go to the 7-11? To get a Slurpee!"