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Joke of the Day

"50 Shades of Spalding Gray 7 years of decay and the East River."

"Why is Lance Armstrong a good citizen? Because he is always recycling"

"Did you hear about the antennas that got married? The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."

"Rob somebody at gunpoint today, show the world how serious you are at nicknaming your new friend Robert."

"WIFE: Hey why are all our potatoes dressed in tiny outfits and arranged in a little scene? ME: [hiding Photato Album] Why? Do you like it?"

"LPT: To clean all your clothes on laundry day Do laundry naked"

"What are Mario and Luigi's overalls made of? Denim, denim, denim."

"My brother just asked me what 'FAP' meant... Shit! Now I am starting to regret leaving comments on his missus facebook pics."

"I will never go bungee jumping. A rubber breaking was the reason I was born, it sure as hell isn't going to be the reason that I die."

"Anyone can overcome adversity. But it takes real strength to complain and then give up."