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Joke of the Day

"Turns out I got Lazik surgery by mistake so now I have two lazy eyes."

"A walk in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact that I'm dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant"

"My boss told me, ""you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?"" I replied, ""I'm not sure, it's hard to keep track"""

"Whats the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my cock up your mom's ass"

"Genders are a lot like the twin towers. They have a habit of going down on each other when things get hot"

"What's the difference between choking sex and necrophilia? About 5 minutes"

"How do you know someone is from California? They tell you."

"Heard that the Lord Of The Rings author had a bit of a stammer. I tried to get his attention this one time and he said, ""Jay, are are you Tolkein to me?"""

"I wish my lawn was emo Then it would cut itself."

"Large Group of Lions Seen Mating on the Banks of the Zambesi River Upstream of the Victoria Falls Pride cums before a fall."