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Joke of the Day

"Turns out I got Lazik surgery by mistake so now I have two lazy eyes."

"What is a sailor's favorite letter? From his wife back home"

"So I was going down on this girl. And I tasted horse semen, I looked up at her and said ""ahh Grandma that's how you died"""

"Pussy Me: Let me tell you a joke. Me: Pussy. You: ... Me: Do you get it? You: No.. Me: Exactly."

"What do you call a cow that goes online? An eMoo."

"When a guy wearing cargo pants hits on me I'm tempted to go out with him just to see how many of my belongings I can fit into his pockets."

"What do you call an Islamic mosquito? A 'mosque-ito'."

"How many ""sup dude""s does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, it's already lit fam."

"How do metal guitarists handle their expensive instruments? Very Djently."

"You know what they say about cliffhangers..."