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Joke of the Day
"What did the monster say to his psychiatrist? 'I feel abominable.'"
Next Joke
"Where does the Easter Bunny lay his eggs?! In the grass.. So WHAT DO WE SMOKE TO CELEBRATE?! [all the children] Grass?? Yessssss."
"Cop: Know why I stopped you? Me: Cuz you SMELLED THIS DONUT? *tosses donut out window* Cop: ... Me: Aren't you gonna go get- Cop: Get out."
"Interesting Fact: By the year 2020 all actors on American TV shows will be Australian."
"Dress for the job you want others to think you have."
"*Condom Co* [ok, don't let them know ur a frog] ""Any ideas how we can make our condoms more pleasurable for her?"" ME: Ribbit ""Genius"""
"*Child putting on clothes very slowly while singing* Me: You really need to hurry up we're going to be late. *Child starts singing faster*"
"Yesvember!"
"Trust me, I'm a liar. Lawyer, I meant lawyer."
"The other day I held the door for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester."