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Joke of the Day

"The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise but the fire trucks ruined it."

"What is a suicide bomber's favorite TV show? The Big Bang Theory."

"What did the nutrionist say to the zombies as they were breaking down the doors of a hospital in West Hollywood? ""Don't forget to eat your gays and invalids."""

"I accidently pooped myself in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."

"Why were the bakers hands brown? Because he kneeded a poo"

"What did God say when he created the first black person? ""Dammit I burnt one!"""

"*slaps the cup out of the barista's hand* ""No. I want Asriel, the guy with the man-bun, to make my latte. He has a better energy"""

"What do you call an arrogant criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"[ This one from the great /u/KingOfRibbles ] ""My sink was a bit dirty-"" ""-but all it needed was a little ...wiping!!!"""

"Customer: ""I'm running Windows '95."" Tech: ""Yes."" Customer: ""My computer isn't working now."" Tech: ""Yes you said that."""