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Joke of the Day

"Is it wrong, to put people on your bucket list?"

"Unicorn: Come on man, do it just one more time. Dragon: This is the last time. Unicorn: Hell yeah! Dragon: [toasts unicorns marshmallow]"

"I went to the Space and Air Museum in Indiana... I paid $20 just to see an empty warehouse."

"How can you spot the rank of a Russian? By the stripes on his Adidas jumpsuit."

"Why did the squirrel cross the road on the telephone wire? To be on the safe side!"

"Talking to a Beaver So I was talking to a beaver one day about how I was homeless and told him I was looking for a new place to live. He gave me this commiserating look and said, ""Well dam."""

"*walks into convenience store* ""Excuse me, do you sell beef jerky"" No sorry we only carry beef friendly *beef sticks start complimenting me*"

"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Well, it's really nice."

"[NSWF] What's the difference between acne and priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face."

"""Well, congrats. You're a homeowner now. Any questions?"" ""Yeah. Sam put those glasses on eBay, why didn't the Decepticons just bid on em?"""