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Joke of the Day

"How many nice guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they'll compliment it, but then get pissed off when it doesn't screw."

"I'm deathly afraid of elevators. I take a lot of steps to avoid them."

"What is it called when you throw a tin can into a recycling bin? A recycling TIN!"

"Why was Nancy always on top when the Reagans made love? Ronald Reagan always fucked up."

"My wife and I were convicted of paedophilia The kids are taking it pretty hard."

"Game Teacher: Peter, why r u late for school again? Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football & the game went into extra time."

"Why does Karl Marx not take milk in his tea? Because proper tea is theft."

"Gravity is just the earth being really clingy"

"r/jokes would be a great fencer After all, it seems to be extremely good with reposts ((Works best spoken))"

"My parents are super religious.... At night all I can hear is ""Oh god! Oh god! Jesus!"""