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Joke of the Day
"Why can't America play chess? Because it's missing two towers."
Next Joke
"Me: Hi. I can't take your call right now but please leave a message. CW: I'm standing right in front of yo... Me: BEEEEEEEEEEEEP"
"What's the word that starts with 'n', ends with 'r', and you wouldn't ever want to call a black guy? Neighbor"
"What do you call a pig that was murdered? A ham-i-cide"
"My girlfriend is an atheist. Which is a problem, because I'm a god."
"Is your dad retarded? Because you're something special"
"Wife: ""I look fat. Tell me something to make me feel better."" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""
"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped his arse."
"Crocodiles; these prehistoric beasts can grow up to 20 feet! Although most just grow 4."
"My girlfriend was voted most likely to succeed And it happened. She sucks my seed every night."