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Joke of the Day

"What's an alcoholic's favorite type of soap? Bar soap."

"I could lose weight simply by not eating the food I drop onto my shirt."

"Did you see the awful story about a triple amputee dog the other day? Poor pup. They said he was on his last leg."

"Nicki Minaj is my favorite teletubby"

"What do my girlfriend and Jesus have in common? Not sure if either of them came once, but I know they haven't come a second time."

"*at bank* I always think it's funny when I go to the bank because my last name is Banks Teller: ""haha. First name?"" *Pulls out gun* Robin"

"What was Hitler's favourite computer game? Mein Kraft"

"Paychecks are like dicks... Although you don't go around comparing yours to other peoples, you always hope it's a little bigger."

"Why did the little girl bury her flashlight? Her batteries were dead."

"""Just spread them open and shove your face in there."" - How to put on glasses."