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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Santa Claus have any kids? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down a chimney."

"My wife says I'm addicted to generalizations but isn't everyone some kind of addict?"

"Well done, you are popular on Social Media. Sorry about the rest of your life."

"I tried eating a whole llama once. I couldn't finish it, so I figured ""Eh, alpaca lunch for tomorrow."""

"15 just texted me that she was on her period and needed a chocolate bar. How absorbent could a chocolate bar even be?!"

"What did one cell say to his sister after she stepped on him? Mitosis. Huehuehuehuehuehue"

"My king, the peasants are revolting! I know, they're disgusting."

"You're not allowed to tweet screenshots of chats where you're the one who says the funny thing."

"Donald Duck has been hanged... ...And is now in a state of suspended animation."

"When the ex saw 2 wine glasses in my sink, I hope he thought, ""she shared a bottle w/ a hot guy"" not ""drinking alone 2 nights in a row"""